Don't live life wondering...

I don't quite remember my age or how old I was when this conversation took place. I do recall her advice and how her voice lingers with me forever.

I grew up in a religious home. Church is were we spent most of our days and nights.
My mom would alternate from Spanish to English services to improve her dialect, and it was in her last switch that I met my first crush, Gabriel.

Gabriel was a little older than I and was a prospective pastor in our congregation. He'd gather the youth for events and other extra curricular activities that my mom and I always joined. He was extremely devoted to God and encouraged all the juveniles in our church to be the same.

It wasn't long before Gabriel seemed to show a special interest in me, keeping me by his side and taking me under his wing. Teaching me the difference between lofting and a decent stroke in the bowling alleys and lifting me off the ground after I tumbled all over the roller skating rink. His patience and encouraging words motivated me to experience new things fearlessly.

Gabriel was charming and chivalrous, and my heart skipped a beat every time he was around. I fell for his droopy eyes and his deep dimpled smile. I was in love.

One day Gabriel called and gave the news that made my world shatter. He and his long distant girlfriend made a decision to take their relationship to the next level. They were going to be engaged and an announcement would be made before Sunday service. As he continued to talk my mind slowly drifted into despair. My heart sank as his words vaguely fainted in the background.

Our call ended and I ran to bathroom bursting into tears. My mom noticed immediately and quickly followed. Not reaching the door in time she insisted on intruding. I was sobbing uncontrollably as I explained what happened. After she listened intently and held me in her arms, she handed the phone over and told me something I will never forget....Don't live life wondering 'What if?'. She instructed me to call back and let him know exactly how I felt. She waited patiently while I dialed and when the call was answered she kissed me on my forehead and closed the bathroom door behind her.

As I confessed my feelings to Gabriel, I felt the tightness in my chest absolve and my body slowly relax. He acknowledged my feelings and to my surprise reciprocated the same. He expressed his concerns of my commitment to God and implied that in order for us to be together I'd have to prove my dedication through baptism.

After Gabriel and I spoke, I was relieved to know he shared my emotions but disappointed to know he wanted me to prove myself to him. This changed my feelings and ended my infatuation.

Even though the outcome of our conversation wasn't what I expected, I was happy that my Mother and I shared a bonding experience. She gave me the best advice and without her I'd still be wondering 'What if?'.